I owe you a conversation!

I heard my CEO make the most beautiful comment today. We were just wrapping up a project briefing session when he suddenly said to one of our Chief Software Architects, "Hey bud, I owe you a few conversations!"

How poetic, thought I. And the next thing I know is that they launch into a few more finer details of the project. As I heard them speak the lingua tech, I began to wonder about this marvelous beast that technology has become and how it has impacted our conversations.

There was a time when a conversation was about expressing ... reaching out. The fluttering eye, the raised eyebrow, the waving hand, the shifting feet, the heaving bosom; all made up the unsaid, as integral to a conversation as spoken words.

Then came Alexander Graham Bell's invention and it robbed the conversation of its visual eloquence. You could reach someone a hundred miles away and speak with them. The visual eloquence was replaced with a greater emphasis on auditory intonations. The 'pause', used strategically, became pregnant with possibilities. Hurt? Anger? Thoughtfulness? Exasperation? Limitless possibilities. Human beings became voice artists. We could stutter, speak up or down, slow or fast, out-speak, etc. A combination of such punctuations combined with voice modulations made us quite expressive. The visual delight was lost, true; but our speech became so much more delightful.

As we progressed from landlines to handheld devices, we kept becoming better conversationalists!

That is until Instant Messaging invaded our lives. Conversation, romanticized as it may sound, died with the advent of IM. You could call me a hopeless eighteenth century Romantic stuck in a time-warp, but allow me to explain. I am an avid user of IM in its various pseudonyms and yes it does enhance communication. But it has been at the cost of my beloved conversation. How many countless wishes and congratulations have we sent over IMs? There are certain IM services that now allow us to send voice messages and many amongst us have used such a service at the cost of a phone call, haven't we?

I love the technological advancement of the IM service. There are so many unpleasant conversations that I have avoided thanks to these services. And, at times, I also quite revel in the cold aloofness of these text messages ;) But I also feel that I am a lesser conversationalist now than I was before I started using these services. And sometimes, I also feel that I am a colder and aloof person than I was before. And i do not revel in that feeling.

I wish you could see the faraway look in my eye, the longing smile ... I wish we could have had a conversation.

Korbo,Lorbo, Jeetbo...Palabo Re!

“They should just drop him from the team,” opined my colleague about Sourav Ganguly. On my asking why, he tells me that Sourav is too old to be playing T20 cricket. I point out that he's just removed 2 of Kings XI's most dangerous batsmen. My colleague replies,"that's because the conditions assist swing bowling"! I am stupefied by this argument. I am about to lash out at him, but i know it would be futile. His hatred for Sourav is ingrained deep within ... it is without logic ... he is merely conforming to the fad of Sourav bashing. He further opines that the Indian team has been able to grow only after Sourav had been unceremoniously dumped from the Indian team. In stating what he believes to be the effect, he implies that Sourav was the cause that was holding team India back for all these years. Well, I guess that Tiger Pataudi,Sunny Gavaskar, Kapil Dev, Md. Azharuddin, Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid had all, during their captaincies, taken India to spectacular heights! And I presume all these undisputed cricketing greats have a better captaincy record than Sourav!
There…I’ve poured my angst into words!
I have always been an avid Ganguly fan…in the true sense of the abbreviated word fanatic. But this time round its not only Ganguly who is being wronged…it is also the city that has given birth to India’s most successful captain that is being victimized.
In one of my earlier blogs I’d stated that King Khan might be thinking of moving the team out of Kolkata. The Indian Premier League was founded as a domestic cricket extravaganza (with a strong city connect) that would have the cricketing heavyweights from all over the world participating in it. In his quest to give his team a global branding, Khan has decided to remove the city association thereby removing the city name from all merchandize, team logo, etc. Having done this he has the cheekiness to appeal to ‘Bongs, Bengalis from all over the world to pray for us. If you are with us amra korbo lorbo jeetbo re!’ Mr. Khan, can you please stop the act and be man enough to spell out your plans for your team? Or did your plan extend till supporting Buchanan’s amazingly imaginative 4-captain theory?
Boria Mazumdar, the noted cricket historian, has also stated on television ‘not Kolkata Knight Riders, please say Knight Riders’! Sarcasm or a feeling of betrayal?
As I write this, Khan’s Knights have already won their second match, courtesy Messers Duckworth and Lewis. The rain had unfortunately cut short a very entertaining Gayle-storm. Earlier they had put up a spirited show to restrict Punjab to 157. A wonderful comeback from their last game! Johnny Buck notwithstanding, the Knights seem to have got their act together.
Just a parting shot – I can’t help it, I am a Bengali – Bengalis, please think before you cheer your heart out for Khan and Buck’s team – because that's what it is.

N.B. - Palabo is a Bengali word that means 'to run away'

Dream Wrecked!

We live in happening times...we do. Recession, elections, IPL, Jarnail Singh’s flying shoe…all make up for a very interesting living. An extremely dynamic state of affairs has, however, been dampened…and by whom but Bollywood! Omigosh! Did I actually say that? You bet I did. The harbinger of emotions, the architect of our very own “Neverland” has plunged us into despair.

Hold on! Before you condemn me for blasphemy, let me clarify my stand. When I say Bollywood I mean not only the makers of our fantasies, but also those who showcase the fantasies…the exhibitors.

A very interesting war is going on in Filmistan, a dharmyuddh (term coined by Mr. Mukesh Bhatt) of sorts. For those of you who came in late here’s what the acrimony is all about.
The fight seems to be a culmination of a number of issues that the producers / distributors say are plaguing them for a number of years now, and allegedly all of it has been caused by the multiplex owners. At the heart of the disagreement lies the ticket sales’ revenue sharing model between the two. Whereas producers / distributors have demanded for a 50 % share of the above, multiplex owners want to stick to their old system of sharing between 40 -48 %, depending on the movie. The producers also want their share of the revenue to be delivered within a stipulated time. The producers also want to have final say on the number of screenings, the show timings et al. The multiplex owners will have none of it.

So whaddahell, you might say. What’s the big deal? But you see it is a big deal. In an industry worth about INR 1000 crores, 2 percent is B I G. Kahani mein twist is that all over the world producers/distributors get 50% of ticket revenues. So our film makers and distributors have finally decided that they ware being short charged by the multiplex owners. And consequently decided to revolt. And what better way to do it than going on a strike? And what better time to do it than when the country is in the grip of IPL fever!

The multiplexes have now decided to go on strike May 1st onwards. The alternate content strategy of the plexes is falling flat on their faces. Ek Se Bure Do and Pal Pal Dil Ke Pass flopped miserably, having brought in just a fraction of the pre-strike days footfalls. The spectacular flop of Tasveer also contributed to their woes. Now the multiplexes want to go on a strike of their own from May 1st, 2009. Uhhh, but how does it change anything?

The biggest loser in this entire fracas has been the audience. We have been deprived of our weekend dose of fantasy. Come on guys; resolve your differences without depriving us. Multiplex owners, you’ll charge an exorbitant sum of money for your tickets…give the producers 2% and move along. Reality has never been harder for us poor Indians, what with recession and its evil son, layoff, wrecking our lives. Give us a break…bring the movies on and let us indulge in some willing suspension of disbelief.

Prince and his Knights in the City of Joy

First the city was replaced as their home. Then its name was taken out of the team. Then the Prince was dethroned. Amazing...how fast the Kolkata Knight Riders' tale is turning into a political drama.

The City of Joy perhaps felt the most blessed when the Badshah and the Prince teamed up together. That John "Buck" Buchanan was roped in as the coach and Joy Bhattacharya as the Director of Operations added to the cricketing and business appeal of Brand KKR. The blitzkrieg of Brendom McCullum, the controversy surrounding Shoaib Akhtar, the Prince of Kolkata, Shahrukh and his friends...the heady mix ensured KKR was the most 'in' team of the season. Rajasthan went on to win one match after the other, Priety continued hugging Yuvi, Sachin kept on postponing his IPL debut...Shahrukh and his Knights kept on generating public interest despite their on-field anitcs (or the lack of it?)

Everything was going perfect for the Knights...untill one fine day when the media reported a growing difference between the team’s charismatic owner and its talismanic captain. Suddenly the KKR camp became a Machiavellian story. Apparently Shahrukh and John Buchanan had teamed up against Bengal’s favorite boy. And then when the grapevines were bursting with Dada going the same way as Laxman or Dravid, he came up with a brilliant knock in KKR’s final game. It didn’t save the match, but it apparently had saved him his crown.

IPL ended and the 3 principal characters of the KKR drama went their separate ways. Where Buchanan started talent scouting camps, Shahrukh built a six pack and Sourav started judging a cheerleader reality show.

Cut to March, 2009 when Mr. Modi finally found a place secure enough to host IPL Season 2 and consequently brought together (again) the 3 principal characters of the KKR drama. The owner was happy that IPL was finally happening, the captain was happy he could hit some more balls (!) and Buck…what was he thinking? He was the busiest of them all…always had been since Season 1 had ended…plotting the ouster of Sourav. What's that ol' Bengali saying that two tigers can't rule the same forest?

But of course he couldn’t do it outright or he wouldn’t have been able to return to Kolkata. So he floated his multiple captain theory. Eh? Did you say? Well, don’t. Its John Buchanan’s theory – the same guy who had taken Australia to their pinnacle, the same coach whom Shane Warne had called a “goose with verbal diarrhoea”!

The question is – is Shahrukh Khan contemplating taking the Kolkata out of the Kolkata Knight Riders? Why else would he want to call his team Knight Riders for IPL Season 2 (as has been reported in the media)? Why else would he give the green signal to John Buchanan’s logic-defying theory? I am tempted to go into the pros and cons of the theory, but for the fact that it will be a pointless deliberation. Coming back to my question, it will be unfortunate if Shahrukh decides to shift the Knights out of Kolkata. Agreed that Dalmiya’s return to the CAB has created problems galore for King Khan, but is it feasible for Shahrukh to take KKR (or Knight Riders, as it stands now) out of Kolkata? The major cricket centers of the country already have a team representing them in the IPL. Oh….hold on…Ahmedabad is still open!

So what now King Khan, Ahmedabad Knight Riders? There’s just one li’l problem – the Prince of Kolkata ain’t quite the guy to take things lying down. And he certainly has the ability to think and act like Machiavelli’s Prince.

As IPL Season 2 inches closer all I can say is that “Picture abhi baaki hain mere dost!”